Monday, September 15, 2008

little blessings

I had a wonderful time this morning at a new Bible study with a group of women from our church. I guess it isn't technically a Bible study - we're reading and discussing A.W. Tozer's classic, The Pursuit of God. But it's easier to call it a Bible study, and we did open our Bibles. Anyway, I was so encouraged by our time together. Things have been especially challenging lately as I cope with rough beginnings of my pregnancy. I've been overwhelmed by my own weakness and inability to "power through." I've felt useless and sometimes worthless as a wife, mom, and friend and have been disappointed in how little I manage to accomplish during the day. This morning we were discussing simplicity in our lives and particularly in our walk with God. Our group leader asked us to consider how we practice simplicity and I thought, "Well, I generally do nothing, feel guilty about doing nothing, and then do nothing some more. I guess that's pretty simple." But one woman shared that as she is facing several giant problems that she can't fix, she has focused on praying for each little thing in front of her and then taking notice of how God answers the little prayers. That spoke exactly to where I am right now, and really encouraged me to do the same. So, here are ten "little" things that I am thankful for today:

1) I am thankful that though my son fell today and busted his lip, and we had our first bleeding-all-over-the-kitchen-floor moment, his teeth were unharmed. If you know my world, you know how important that is.

2) I am thankful that God gave me the strength to get out of bed, take a shower, do my hair, get my son fed and dressed, and drive to the Bible study this morning. Even though I felt like I was taking each step through thick mud and barely holding down my breakfast, we made it, and it was an enormous blessing.

3) I am thankful that I felt well enough last night to make a healthy dinner and a delicious (albeit a little too sweet) peach dessert.

4) I am thankful for God's hand in my marriage and for a husband who is kind, loving, and tender hearted. I'm thankful for Ben stepping up to the plate so graciously when I'm not feeling well. And I'm thankful that we still have fun together, evidenced by last night's awesome Rock Band session.

5) I am thankful for this new life inside me. I confess that there are days I don't want to be pregnant, I don't want to have this baby. I realize how selfish and ungracious that is, and how many women would kill to be in my position. I'm also thankful that I can be honest with God about this and know that his faithfulness and mercy are not dependent on my perfection.

6) I am SO thankful for the gift of Christian fellowship. How amazing that I could walk into a roomful of strangers and within a few minutes feel free to share the my greatest struggles, darkest fears, and most intimate dreams. I am humbled by the privilege of walking alongside so many wonderful, Godly women in my life.

7-10) (Because I'm getting hungry): Beautiful weather, having a good-natured child, Jolly Ranchers, and the juicy steak that I will (hopefully) enjoy for dinner tonight.

What little thing are you thankful for today?