This past week, I began and ended potty training with Eli. I never worried about getting him potty trained by the age of two, but when I got pregnant again I was determined to have only one child in diapers at a time. I have a group of girlfriends here who have all used the same "method" of potty training and have successfully had accident-free kids by or before they turned two. So I had pretty high hopes that it would happen. I bought all of the "big boy" underpants, the plastic pants, the potty seats, the travel potty seat, the wipes, the handwashing step stools... you need a serious arsenal for this kind of warfare. I started on Wednesday, and as soon as Eli woke up in the morning, I put him on the potty. The timer beeped every thirty minutes, and we went to the potty. Each trip was a good ten to fifteen-minute ordeal: pants off (he refused to have them just down around his ankles), underwear off, on the potty, read a book, sing a song, read another book, ignore fifty-seven requests for "treat?", get off the potty, flush the potty, new underwear on, pants on, get on the stepstool, wash hands, dry hands, and back to play. It was beyond exhausting. Leaving the house was suddenly like having a newborn again, as was one or two full pajama-and-sheet changings in the middle of the night. Cleaning up poopy underwear is a HAZMAT nightmare compared to tossing a poopy diaper. After four days we had two very tired and cranky parents, one tired and cranky toddler, and absolutely no pee or poop in the potty. I had committed to one week, but at the end of day four, I called Ben and said, "Please, please stop by the store and bring home a package of diapers." To which he basically replied, "Hallelujah."
Now, I've never been known for my stick-to-it-iveness. I have quit sports, clubs, jobs, books, and craft projects with barely a smidge of guilt. But this wasn't a normal quitting, this was mommy quitting. And good mommies aren't supposed to quit things, so my mom guilt was working overtime last night. But then I woke up this morning and changed my son's wet diaper in 10.5 seconds, and felt extremely satisfied with my decision. My little guy is simply not ready, and I simply too uncomfortably pregnant, and the combination simply doesn't work. So, we may try again in six months, or we may try when he goes off to kindergarten. At any rate, it feels really, really good to just let it go.
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4 comments:
You made the right decision for you. Don't feel guilty about that. I cannot even imagine the stress of doing it while pregnant, although I understand your desire to have it done. Just keep talking about it and doing "pre" stuff with him for the next 6months. You will be amazed at how much that will make a difference when you do start. I really think that was the key with Madison. You are a great mommy! This just wasn't the right timing for you guys.
I have been thinking of calling you all week but fighting a horrible cold. It is on the mend and I am not sleeping as much so hopefully we can chat soon. Hugs friend!
I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. I, too was so "gung-ho" about the whole potty training thing and Brendan... not so much. And since I was pregnant and didn't have the time or patience, I just decided to give it up and let him have his own timeline. He is now 2 and 8 months and has been able to keep his diaper dry for a full day (except naps and bedtime) only a handful of times. I just gve up the guilt and told myself "you know... he's not going to kindergarten in diapers... so I've got another couple of years to work on him right?!" :) My hope is maybe by the age of 3... yeah, we'll see... Don't beat yourself up about it and DEFINITELY don't compare him to any other kids his age who may or may not be potty trained. He's unique and it will happen when it happens!
Alisa you have good mommy friends advise here! I cloth diaper (which is supposed to make them train earlier) and my girls both started around 2 1/2... I will probably wait until Aaron is at least 3! When they are ready, it works! Hang in there!
I absolve you of all guilt. If worse comes to worse, send him to Kindergarten with some Depends on. Just like Brice.
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